The holiday season is notorious for gatherings with friends and family. While going to someone else’s home for a holiday gathering has its own set of considerations for IC patients, hosting a holiday gathering yourself has challenges as well. Whether you’re hosting by choice or out of necessity, no need to stress. We’ve got some tips and suggestions for making hosting the holidays easier with IC. Because the last thing you want is to end up with a horrible flare afterward!
Set realistic expectations.
Make sure that what you are planning is actually something you can do. For example, you might have the expectation that your house will be spotless, your table will have an elaborate setting, all your dishes will be made from scratch and everyone will be dressed in fancy duds. Chances are really good that you aren’t going to be able to make all that happen and keep your IC in check (unless you have a staff!). Instead, set realistic expectations for what you can do and stop giving yourself a hard time for what you can’t do.
Many times, you’ll find that people won’t notice if you use a pre-made pie crust instead of from scratch or that you haven’t dusted your knick-knacks for a month. Another great point is that you don’t have to make any food if you don’t want to or aren’t able. Store-bought food can be just as good as homemade. Do what works best for you and your IC.
Take care of yourself.
Starting well before your gathering, take care of yourself. In the week ahead of time, pay attention to your diet. Avoid IC trigger foods. Do your best to avoid doing activities that can trigger your symptoms. Drink plenty of water. Get enough sleep. Eat healthy foods. Find healthy ways to alleviate stress. Basically, you want to do the best you can to create the perfect conditions for your IC bladder to avoid a flare as much as is in your control.
Ask for help.
Asking for help can be hard, but it’s a necessity during the holiday season, especially if you’re hosting. Your spouse and children can help with cleaning the house. Your can ask your guests to bring along a dish or two to share. If you’re in a position to hire help, like having someone come and clean your house ahead of time, do so! Lowering your pride to ask for help is important because overdoing any of it will just be that much harder on your body and more likely to make your IC flare. Running the vacuum, for example, almost always sets off my bladder. So I ask my husband to do so instead. The smell of cleaning products can sometimes irritate your bladder. If that’s true for you, ask someone else to do that cleaning for you.
You can also ask family or friends who are coming to you for the holidays for help. Your loved ones can help you with clean-up after dinner. You can assign tasks ahead of time even so people aren’t caught off guard. Remember, you do not have to do everything all by yourself. Asking for help is more than OK.
Plan tasks ahead.
I’m a natural planner and list-maker, but even if you aren’t, do so for the holiday season. In the past, I’ve been able to clean my entire house in one day and still do things in the afternoon and evening. That’s not my reality any more. I also can’t wrap all Christmas gifts at once any more. Planning ahead allows you to do tasks ahead of time so you aren’t overdoing it on the holiday itself. Think about things like what food you want to have, what HAS to be done before the holiday and what decorations you want. Then you can start making your plans for when to get things done. The best thing about planning and working ahead as much as possible is that if you wake up on the day you’re supposed to wrap 20 gifts and are in an awful flare, you can postpone the wrapping for a couple of days when your flare eases and still not be behind.
Prioritize.
As you’re planning ahead and figuring out what HAS to be done, think about what your priorities are. For example, would you rather have an elaborate table setting or food made mostly from scratch? Maybe you can have both, but if you prioritize what is most important to you then you can plan to make the most important things higher priority. Lower priority items can slide if they need to. And don’t feel guilty for letting them do so!
As you are prioritizing, be sure to think also about what is most important to your loved ones. In 10 years, what do you want them to look back on this holiday season and remember? What will they actually remember? Focus more on those things. If the rest needs to fall by the wayside, then so be it! One of my kids’ favorite traditions is so incredibly simple. They love having Cookie Breakfast on Christmas Eve morning. I let them eat cookies for breakfast in the living room with only the Christmas tree lights on. Of all the things I’ve come up for them, that one is probably easiest and simplest, yet they enjoy it most. So, I easily prioritize it.
Embrace new traditions or go non-traditional.
Speaking of traditions, embracing new traditions or going non-traditional is OK. Do what works best for you and your family even if it seems crazy to others. I served tacos to my family for Easter dinner this year and my family loved it! Maybe your holiday dinner this year will be peanut butter sandwiches. If it works for you and your family, then go for it! Remember, also that sometimes a change in tradition is just for a season. This year can be different but maybe next year won’t be. Or maybe it’s just time to change up traditions anyway.
Serve food you can eat.
Whether you’re serving traditional or non-traditional food, one perk to hosting the holidays is ensuring you have food you can eat and not have to worry about causing a flare. If you are asking others to bring dishes, give them specific dishes to bring or mention what ingredients you need them to avoid using. Check out these great IC friendly fall recipes and holiday recipes.
Go disposable.
While you might not usually use many disposable items, this is a great time to do so. Disposable pans, plates, silverware, cups and napkins can reduce the amount of work you need to do and time you need to be on your feet. Along with helping your bladder by not having to be on your feet as long to do dishes, it will also help you be able to have more time to visit with those you love, which is a big part of the holidays!
Order online.
These days you can easily order holiday supplies, groceries and decorations online. Even if you drive to the grocery store to pick up your items, ordering them online or through an app is much easier on your body than walking through the store, pushing a cart that gets heavier as you go and having to stop every half hour to head to the bathroom. Online ordering, curbside pick-up and delivery are so incredibly great for IC patients, especially during the holiday season.
Communicate with your family.
Letting your family know what you need and/or what to expect is a great idea as well for making holiday hosting easier. Be clear about your limited energy if you need to. You can even plan in downtime if you are going to have guests in for a while. Turn on a holiday movie to watch together from your comfortable couch (where you can sit with your heating pad or ice pack). Share with your loved ones if you aren’t feeling well or need a break.
Dress comfortably.
Because clothes tight in the pelvis can cause IC flares, plan something comfortable to wear for the day you’re hosting. Wear something that isn’t restricting on your pelvis like a dress, skirt, leggings or yoga pants. (Check out these ideas on dressing for success and bladder comfort.) And be sure to wear comfortable shoes for being on your feet very long because that really can help reduce pelvic and lower back pain as well.
Have a back-up plan in mind.
No matter how well we plan and even take care of ourselves, sometimes flares can hit out of nowhere. It doesn’t hurt to have some sort of plan B in mind for how you’ll handle things if you wake up the day of with a horrendous flare. Maybe it’s just a matter of talking to your spouse about what you’d need from them if that happens. Or maybe it’s thinking about what takeout food is available so you don’t have to cook. Or maybe you can think about what’s in your freezer than can be easily heated. Just knowing you have a back-up plan can alleviate stress and anxiety.
