Facing A New Diagnosis

“When you are on a journey, it is certainly helpful to know where you are going or at least the general direction in which you are moving, but don’t forget: the only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.” – Eckhart Tolle

The reaction of one in the early stages of illness or pain is one of fear. What is happening to me? What will the doctors do to me? Will there be lots of tests? Will the tests be painful? How long will I have to wait to find out what is wrong with me? Is it something serious? Will I die? Will I be like this in pain the rest of my life? Will I be able to care for my children? Will I be able to care for myself?

So many questions. Questions that lead to other questions. And questions that indicate obvious fear and discomfort with uncertainty in what lies ahead. Finally fears of nonexistence and helplessness. What do we do with all these feelings? How do we keep them from poisoning our relationships? How do we keep them from frightening our children? How do we hang on to those we love? And finally, how will we exist through this process?

Awareness of the present is your most important tool. Awareness of our feelings, the facts, the momentary events and our surroundings. There may not be comfort in every moment that we live, yet we must learn how to create comfort in these moments for ourselves.

1. Surround yourself with the things you love. Make your home warm and comfortable. Wear fuzzy slippers until you have to go out. Keep your clothing soft and cozy.
2. There are foods some call “comfort foods”. Think about what these things may be. Unless they are foods that go against your doctor’s diet or food plan, try to feed yourself one small portion of your favorite foods each day. Something that you look forward to. A small treat for you. But keep your healthy diet going. Now is not the time to create a crash diet. Now is the time to treat yourself well.
3. Rest. Take time to rest every day. Puff up your pillows and have warm blankets available to you. Make resting a time of recharging so that you can wake up the best you can be. A recharged you.
4. Listen to beautiful music. Listen to music that gives you goose bumps or cheers your soul. Play it softly when you are doing your chores. Let it be a special treat for you. Let it soften the moments for you.
5. Add humor to your life. Even if you don’t feel like laughing, try to laugh. Try to stay away from violence or television that creates more fear. Watch comedy shows and funny movies.
6. Wear clothes that hug you, make you feel warm and cozy. Wear clothes that you find soft and pleasing to your touch. Wear colors that are warm and soothing, like pale blues and pale pinks-all proven to add serenity and calm to a wounded spirit.
7. Keep medications for pain handy. If you feel pain coming on, and you have been prescribed medication by your medical doctor, do not wait until it is in full force before reacting. Pre-act, simply means to treat yourself at the first sign of pain so that it never gets into a severe state.
8. Accept this moment, do not fight it. Use you energy to take steps forward on your path toward wellness. But do not spend time fighting what is right now. Instead take action so you can advance on your path.
9. Try not to focus too hard on the future. With little information, its impossible for you to know what the future holds. Instead live the moment deeply. Love your family. Smile and laugh with your children. Reassure your husband or wife.
10. Allow yourself to be inspired. Read inspirational material. Read authors that make you laugh, make you happy and give you hope. If you would like a list of non-denominational inspirational books, email me. I would be more than happy to share my list with you.

Create a plan. Sit with your support system and create a plan of action. Look at your situation. What do you want to find out? What do you think you might do next? Do you have an appointment with your doctor already set up to go over the plan? If not, make one. Write your plan down on a sheet of paper and tack it to the wall somewhere you can see it. And when you feel scared and helpless, look at your plan. Its a symbol of action. And taking action helps you to avoid depression.

But also remember to let this be a time for the present moment. Put fear away through living in comfort and nurturing yourself. Add laughter when you can. Be with your family with presence and love. Even though these are trying times, this too, now, is part of your life. It may be a time of uncertainty, pain and fear, but learn to live it the best way you can by making the best of this moment.

I assure you, even with chronic illness, better days and rare opportunities await you.

Let us walk down this healing road together.

Always with peace and love,
Frannie

(c) 2005 – Frannie Rose