Frannie Rose on Keeping The Spirit Alive

Keeping Your Spirit Alive

Q. You speak about keeping the spirit alive when one is dealing with chronic illnesses. How can I keep my spirit alive when my doctor is so cold to me, my family talks about me behind my back and my children stay away? I feel so lonely inside and don’t know how to change this.

Frannie Rose: When we deal with a chronic illness, there are many changes in our lives and our surroundings that can throw us. The simple things are not simple anymore because life become more complex having to deal with our health. Our normal stress levels are increased a great amount and as this increases so does our sensitivity when dealing with loved ones. Our normal level of stress can become so high, that anything that is said to us can become the “straw that breaks the camel’s back”.

It sounds to me as if you do not have a support system in your life right now. In the process of dealing with chronic illness, the first step is obtaining good and competent medical care. The doctor we choose must listen as well as talk to us. He must know his information or if dealing with a rarer disease, must be willing to research. But most of all there must be a good fit between doctor and patient. It is important that you as a patient feel comfortable enough with you doctor to tell him anything that is medically affecting you. And if you cannot do this, or if your complaints fall upon deaf ears, then its time to think of finding a new doctor.

Loneliness is something each of us feels in our lives when we are dealing with illness. In truth, it is something that cannot be avoided in the physical sense, as no one has time to sit with us all day and devote their whole lives to us. However, If we find purpose in our loneliness…see the flip side of it, we will see solitude. And it is in that solitude that we are able to find the creativity to do amazing and giving things. Just by looking at the flip side of loneliness, we can change our lives into lives of purpose despite our chronic illnesses.

5 Things You Can Do To Protect Yourself From Depression

Find a good and caring doctor. One you can talk to and confide in. And one who is willing to learn.
Build a support system of people in your life who care about you and what you feel. Make your doctor one of these people. The others may be family members or friends. And if not these people, find a group online of caring patients who will help you through some of the hard times by sharing experiences with you. It is possible to make good friends online who will be with you throughout the years.
Avoid depression by taking action. Sitting in one spot will leave you in one spot. Moving forward will help you get further along on your path toward wellness. If you are feeling depression, ask yourself: What actions am I taking toward wellness? And you will get your answer.
Reach out and ask for help if necessary. Don’t be afraid to see a counselor if creating a support system is impossible. Your counselor can become part of a support system as well.
Communicate. Communicate to friends and family what you are feeling. It is possible they are not there with you because they do not know how to help you. Communicate to them about ways in which they can make things easier for both of you.

Sometimes we need to reach out to others. You have reached out to me and this is a good start. Reach out to your doctor, your family, new online friends or your religious group. And remember the other side of loneliness is solitude. If you can learn to appreciate your solitude and find new meaning in it, you will spark tremendous creativity from within you and the passion from this will keep your spirit alive.