One of the first-line treatments for IC is learning about the IC diet and giving it a try. For many patients, removing irritating food or drinks can make a huge difference in their symptoms. An elimination diet helps you best identify your trigger foods. Once you know what foods bother you and are actively avoiding them, you then have to learn how to navigate meals with others. And that can be both challenging and embarrassing.
Nobody wants to be the dinner guest or friend who’s constantly talking about their health issues and pointing out what they can’t eat. When we are out with others, we’d rather forget about our health issues as much as possible and focus on having good conversation.
Through the years of living with the IC diet and knowing my major triggers (citrus, vinegar and caffeine), I’ve learned a few ways to manage and talk about the IC diet with others while not making a fuss. These are some of my best tips to making talking IC diet with others just a bit easier.
1. Decide ahead of time how much information to share.
Not everybody needs to know everything about you and your health issues. Some people need more details than others who need just a few basic facts. It all depends on whether you are talking to a casual co-worker, a family member, an acquaintance or a long-time friend. The more casual the acquaintance, the less information you need to share.
(Check out more ideas for talking IC with friends and family.)
2. Use the term “food sensitivity” to avoid detail.
Food allergies and sensitivities are talked about now more than ever. That makes it even easier to simply say you have a food sensitivity with no further explanation needed. This can come in handy when talking about food ingredients with a server at a restaurant or a friend having you over for dinner. Simply say you are sensitive to certain foods and need to avoid them.
3. Don’t feel pressured to explain.
This is another option that can work in groups you aren’t as familiar with. I’m married to a guy who is a “particular” eater. He orders things specially because of his taste preferences. There doesn’t always have to be an explanation about why you want your pasta with butter instead of tomato sauce or water instead of soda. Some of us people pleasers (raising my hand high here!) feel the need to explain our reasons for things. It truly isn’t necessary.
4. Know you aren’t alone.
While you may be the only member of your party with IC, chances are decent someone else is on (or should be on) a modified diet as well. Lots of conditions benefit from diet modifications such as high blood pressure, diabetes, Celiac disease and so many more. Plus you having the courage to speak up and ask for something done differently may just allow others to feel comfortable doing the same thing.
5. When possible, have an ally.
Eventually, your close friends and family will probably know your IC diet triggers and help you watch out for them. Having someone like that along can make it easier to find foods and drinks you can have. I’ve had both family and friends point out things to me that I might want to avoid or that I can have. Even if that’s not the case, having someone on your side is at least comforting.
When I was younger, my mom would bring bottled water along to bridal and baby showers for me since they usually served only punch. A couple of years ago, we attended a shower together and she mentioned she had water in her purse for me if I needed it. I told her I did, too! Just knowing someone else is looking out for you is a good feeling.
6. Eat before you go.
Yeah, this one is kind of a bummer. But if you are in an unfamiliar situation over which you don’t have control of the food (say a wedding reception or business event), then plan to eat a light meal before you go. That way, you can still be included without stressing about what is being served.
Usually there will be a few safe options you can munch on without drawing as much attention to yourself. But if not and someone asks, you can share you have already eaten or aren’t hungry.
7. Don’t give into peer pressure.
We’ve all encountered people who are insistent we try a food or beverage. They tell us just a little bit won’t bother us. But, you know your body best. If you know having some of your co-worker’s infamous fruit salad is going to cause you pain, then politely, but firmly refuse. For example you could say, “Thank you so much. It looks delicious, but with my food sensitivities, I just can’t have it.”
8. Plan ahead.
Controlling ingredients at restaurants can be a bit easier than when you are at someone’s home. You can more easily order IC friendly options. Looking at the menu ahead of time is a great idea to help give you an idea of what to order. Also, feel free to suggest restaurants or options you know you can have.
If you are close enough with the person inviting you to dinner at their house, talk with them ahead of time. Explain you have some food sensitivities and are wondering what’s being served. Offer to bring along something to share or even bring along your own food so they don’t have to worry about it.
This is exactly what someone who has a food allergy would do. You may not be allergic in the same sense, but if those foods will bother you, that’s enough motivation to avoid them. Most hosts will want to have more information about what to avoid for you so they can provide you with options.
9. Don’t feel guilty.
I know. This can be hard. We don’t want to be difficult. But, you didn’t choose to have IC. You don’t need to feel bad for having different needs. Be polite and gracious while advocating for yourself as needed.
Remember other people choose diets to lose weight or be healthier and aren’t shy about asking for what they need. No one is going to be offended by your legitimate medical reason for a modified diet.
10. Don’t bemoan what you can’t have.
It’s not fair. Sometimes it is downright upsetting to no longer to be able to have certain foods and drinks. That is something we all have to work our way through — and I won’t pretend it’s easy in food-centered activities. But, you also don’t want to be the person making everyone else feel guilty for enjoying chocolate cake when you can’t.
The best way I found to get through this is remembering I’m choosing what’s best for me and being thankful to know what irritates my bladder so I can avoid it.
